Online Workshop: Preventing People with I/DD from Becoming Offenders, Suspects, and Inmates

Workshop Summary

We do a lot of work helping people with I/DD avoid becoming victims. We do far less work on the other side — when someone with I/DD is the one being accused. Those two problems share the same root cause: inadequate sexuality education. This workshop addresses both.

Note: This is a pre-recorded, 90-minute, online workshop. You’ll receive Instant access upon purchase — including three downloadable resource packs.

Why This Workshop Exists

Blake Kelmar was 19 years old when it happened. He has autism spectrum disorder and a processing difference. His social and sexual development put him closer to 12 or 13 — something the criminal justice system was not designed to consider.

After a series of explicit text messages he didn’t understand and an encounter he didn’t initiate, Blake was charged with aggravated sexual assault and criminal knowledge of a minor. Four police officers arrived at 4:30 in the morning. He answered the door in shorts and a t-shirt, thinking it was a neighbor. He was handcuffed in front of his parents and taken to a holding cell with no blanket in freezing temperatures. His bond was initially denied. A judge called him a danger to society.

“This story for me is very traumatic for me. I relive this just about every single year.”

— Blake Kelmar, self-advocate and workshop presenter

Blake eventually completed probation and graduated from Marshall University with a degree in journalism, history, and psychology. But he is on the sex offender registry for life. The forensic evaluation ordered by the court found that he did not understand what was going on — that she was the aggressor — but his lawyer never used it. His autism was not recognized as a factor in the case.

His father, Brian Kelmar, founded LRIDD — Legal Reform for Intellectually and Developmentally Disabled — after realizing that Blake’s situation was not unusual. LRIDD has grown to thousands of families across the country.

“So you have a child not understanding the sexual things and the social things that were going on around him.”

— Brian Kelmar, LRIDD co-founder and workshop presenter

Katherine McLaughlin reached out to Brian and Blake, and to Leigh Ann Davis at The Arc, because this story is not an outlier. It is what happens when people with I/DD enter adulthood without the sexuality education they need. And it is preventable.

What the Research Shows

People with intellectual disabilities make up 2–3% of the general population. They represent 4–10% of the prison population. One study found that 4.2% of state and federal prisoners have intellectual disabilities. An estimated 32% of prisoners and 40% of jail inmates report having at least one disability — one in two prisoners and three in ten jail inmates report a cognitive disability specifically.

Prevalence rates of sex offenders with intellectual disabilities range from 20–50% across studies, though the data has significant gaps. What we do know: once in the system, people with I/DD are less likely to receive probation or parole and tend to serve longer sentences because they cannot understand or adapt to prison rules.

These are not incidental facts. As Leigh Ann Davis, Director of Criminal Justice Initiatives at The Arc, explains:

“We’re setting people up to walk right into these scenarios.”

— Leigh Ann Davis, workshop presenter

Why This Is Happening

The causes are not hard to name. People with I/DD often receive little or no sexuality education. When they do receive it, it covers anatomy and STIs — not consent, not age differences, not what happens when you send the wrong text.

“When it comes to my sex education as a whole from the school system, it was the anatomy — what is this, what is that, what is an STD, and how to put on a condom. That was the extent of my sex education.”

— Blake Kelmar

They also have fewer peers to learn from. The locker room conversations, the friends who fill in the gaps — those channels are mostly closed to people with I/DD. And for many, asking a parent feels impossible.

Brian Kelmar puts the core problem directly:

“Either they were taught it or they weren’t, and if they weren’t, they are not going to infer or pick it up through osmosis.”

— Brian Kelmar

The legal system compounds the problem. Sexual offense laws were not written with disability in mind. They treat all defendants identically, regardless of developmental capacity. Police are rarely trained to recognize autism or intellectual disability. Defense attorneys often don’t know the research. Judges in many states have limited discretion even when they see it.

There is also a cultural assumption that creates real harm: when a sexual encounter goes wrong, we assume the male is the aggressor. As Blake’s story shows, that assumption can drive the entire trajectory of a case — from the initial arrest to the prosecutor’s argument to the sentence — regardless of what actually happened.

Finally: people with I/DD experience sexual trauma at much higher rates than the general population — an NPR investigation found they are seven times more likely to experience sexual assault. That history of trauma adds shame and confusion. It makes it harder to recognize boundaries, harder to ask questions, and harder to resist when someone is being manipulative. Victimization and offending are not separate problems. They often grow from the same unaddressed need.

As Brian notes, progress is possible. In Virginia, LRIDD successfully passed three laws in a single session: K–12 sexuality education built into individual education plans, screening for developmental disabilities in prison intake, and a diversion program giving judges discretion when disability is a factor in a case. These changes matter — and they start with education.

Who This Workshop Is For

This workshop is for self-advocates who want to understand their rights and protect themselves, and for the educators, school staff, direct support professionals, agency trainers, therapists, and family members who support people with I/DD. If you teach consent, boundaries, relationships, or healthy sexuality — or if you have encountered situations like Blake’s in your work — this workshop is for you. The strategies apply whether you use Elevatus Training’s curriculum or your own.

What You Will Learn

This workshop brings together Blake and Brian Kelmar’s personal story, Leigh Ann Davis’s expertise on criminal justice and I/DD, and Katherine McLaughlin’s focus on what educators can do. By the end of this 90-minute workshop, you will be able to:

Examine Blake Kelmar’s first-hand account to understand how a situation like this actually unfolds — from early contact to arrest, sentencing, and lifelong consequences

Review current statistics on the over-representation of people with I/DD in the criminal justice system as suspects, defendants, and inmates

Identify the root causes — including gaps in sexuality education, limited peer networks, inadequate legal protections, and the cultural assumption that men cannot be victims

Understand how trauma history affects vulnerability, and why preventing offending and preventing victimization require the same educational response

Apply specific topics and strategies — boundaries, consent, age differences, legal consequences, healthy relationships — in your teaching to reduce the risk of these situations

Workshop Presenters

Brian Kelmar is the co-founder and Chairman of Legal Reform for Intellectually and Developmentally Disabled (LRIDD), a parent advocacy group. LRIDD was created to help other parents who are going through similar situations and to advocate for creating change in the criminal justice system for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities. He is a retired Navy Commander and carrier aviator. He has an undergraduate degree from Penn State, an MBA from Troy State, and executive education from Harvard Business School. He lives with his wife in Richmond, VA, and is a proud parent of three boys. He enjoys running marathons.

Blake Kelmar is a graduate of Marshall University with a degree in journalism, history, and psychology. He is the first Eagle Scout in his family. Blake is an advocate for changing the stigma of people with disabilities. Blake enjoys doing freelance landscape photography. He likes going to the beach, cooking, walking his dog, Aspen and watching college football. He resides in Norfolk.

Leigh Ann Davis is the Director of Criminal Justice Initiatives at The Arc of the United States and directs the National Center on Criminal Justice and Disability® (NCCJD®). With over 22 years of experience working at the intersection of developmental disability and criminal justice, she envisioned and secured funding to create The Arc’s NCCJD. She also oversaw the development of NCCJD’s signature training tool, Pathways to Justice®, and works nationally and internationally to create inclusive justice for all.

Katherine McLaughlin, M.Ed., AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, is the Founder, CEO, and Lead Trainer for Elevatus Training. She has been a sexuality educator and trainer for over 30 years. As a national expert on sexuality and intellectual and developmental disabilities, she trains professionals and parents, as well as people with I/DD, to become sexual self-advocates and peer sexuality educators.⁠