We know that knowledge is power and ignorance is NOT bliss. We all need knowledge to make informed choices, but when it comes to sex and sexual relationships, people with disabilities are given the message that they don’t need this information; this isn’t for them. But we all have the right to learn and become informed; when we aren’t, we may suffer.
This right is very specific about what knowledge people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD) want and need. They are asking people to go beyond friendship, meeting partners, and wondering what a healthy relationship is. They are asking for access to information about sex, such as “what is sex?”. And they are wondering how to have a safe and healthy sexual relationship and reproductive health.
“I have a right to learn about sex, safe and healthy sexual relationships, and reproductive health.”
Learning Objective
For Self-Advocates: To have knowledge on having safe, healthy, and pleasurable sexual relationships.
For Professionals/Parents: To discuss and share resources on safe, healthy, and pleasurable sexual relationships.
Suggestions that support the learning objective
- Review the Checklist on What Do I Need to Learn? This can be done on your own or with a support person. Check off any of the statements of knowledge you already have and the ones you need more information on. This will give you a sense of what you already know and what you need to learn.
- Create a plan for how you will learn the information you need. Here’s a handout with information (contains graphic content) about how to have a pleasurable and safe sexual relationship. Review the resources below that can also help you learn about these topics.
National Council on Independent Living video series. All of these would be helpful in learning about sexual relationships.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLuEvYNNQ-dHeVhbyeJHx9s8oqsvBk621v
Organization for Autism Research website. These topics may be very helpful: Consent, Am I ready? Sexual Activity.
https://researchautism.org/sex-ed-guide/
Organization for Autism Research podcast. These topics may be very helpful: Consent, Am I ready? Sexual Activity.
https://researchautism.org/sex-ed-for-self-advocates-podcast/
- Ask questions when you don’t understand the information. Even after discussing, watching, reading, and/or listening to this information, you still may have questions about sexual relationships. Ask someone that you really trust if you still have questions. Those of you supporting someone, ask the self-advocate to teach back what they have learned so you can be sure they understand the information.
Inspiration/end result
People with I/DD have the information they need or know where to get it. Hence, they can make informed choices and reduce the negative impact due to the lack of education, such as unplanned pregnancies and sexually transmitted infections.
Self-reflection/call to action
For Self-Advocates: Yes, we have the right to learn about sex and sexual relationships. Find a resource that works best for your learning style. Is it talking with someone you trust, reading a website, watching videos, or listening to a podcast? We all learn differently, so find what works best for you!
For parents/professionals: Get comfortable talking about sex, sexual relationships, and sexual health. You may feel uncomfortable, but that is ok. Discussing this topic has so many positives that a bit of embarrassment is worth the benefits. People with I/DD have missed out on all kinds of sexuality topics and deserve to know about sexual health and safety.
For professionals specifically, remember that you only need to share facts and help self-advocates think about their own values. Don’t share your values because your role is to help them make informed decisions. Give them the information and skills for making decisions and support their choices!