Consent is giving permission: saying yes, or agreeing to do something. Teaching it to people with I/DD rests on two ideas. There must be two yesses, and both must be freely chosen. Those skills grow through everyday practice, accessible communication, and supporters who continually model the skills themselves.
Teaching consent is about far more than helping someone understand the definition of the word. It means helping people recognize choices, communicate their decisions, respect others’ decisions, and apply those skills in everyday life.
For professionals supporting people with intellectual and developmental disabilities (I/DD), consent education is closely connected to body autonomy, healthy relationships, self-advocacy, and personal safety. Like many important life skills, consent is not learned through a single lesson or annual training. It develops through repeated practice, meaningful conversations, and everyday experiences.
Many professionals understand the concept of consent but are seeking practical strategies to make it meaningful for the people they support. Over the years, we have had the privilege of working alongside self-advocates, educators, therapists, direct support professionals, families, and service providers across the country.
One lesson has become clear: consent is best learned when it is woven into everyday life, rather than treated as a one-time topic.
Why Consent Education Looks Different for People with I/DD
Consent education should reflect the lived experiences of the people receiving it.
Many individuals with I/DD grow up in environments where following directions and cooperating with caregivers are encouraged every day. While those supports are often necessary, they can unintentionally make it harder to recognize that every person still has the right to make choices about their own body, relationships, and personal boundaries.
At the same time, people with I/DD experience significantly higher rates of sexual abuse than the general population. That reality makes teaching body autonomy, communication, and self-advocacy even more important.
Effective consent education acknowledges these experiences while building practical skills that increase confidence, safety, and independence.
Designing for Different Learners
No two people with I/DD learn exactly the same way.
Some people communicate verbally. Others use sign language, communication boards, AAC devices, pictures, gestures, or other methods. Some learn best through discussion, while others benefit from repetition, visuals, or hands-on practice.
Rather than adapting a curriculum after it is written, accessibility should be part of the instructional design from the very beginning. Flexible pacing, plain language, visual supports, role-playing, and multiple ways to communicate all help learners successfully understand and apply consent.
Consent Is Simpler Than We Sometimes Make It
Consent does not have to be taught through complicated definitions.
At Elevatus, we teach consent in language that is concrete, practical, and easy to remember.
Consent is giving permission, saying yes, or agreeing to do something.
People ask for and give consent every day.
Someone asks to borrow $20.
A friend asks if you would like to go to lunch.
Someone asks for a hug.
A co-worker asks if they can sit with you.
Each person has the opportunity to decide what feels right for them.
When learners first recognize that consent happens throughout everyday life, it becomes much easier to understand how it also applies to friendships, dating relationships, family relationships, personal care, and sexual relationships.
Two Simple Principles Make Consent Easy to Remember
Although consent applies in many different situations, we teach two essential ideas.
There must be two yeses, and both yeses must be freely chosen.
For example, Maria asks her friend Jordan, “Would you like a hug?”
Jordan thinks for a moment and says, “No, thank you.”
Maria smiles and replies, “Okay.”
That is consent. Maria asked first. Jordan had a choice. Jordan said no. Maria respected the answer. Both “yes” and “no” are acceptable answers. When someone asks for permission, they need to be prepared to respect either response.
Now imagine a different situation.
Maria asks, “Would you like a hug?”
Jordan smiles and says, “Yes.”
Maria also wants a hug, so she says, “Me too.”
That is consent because there are two yeses, and both people freely chose to say yes. If Jordan had stayed quiet, looked uncomfortable, or changed his mind and said, “I do not want a hug anymore,” Maria should stop. Consent only exists when both people freely agree, and anyone can change their mind at any time.
Consent is an Ongoing Conversation
One of the biggest misconceptions about consent is that once someone says yes, that decision carries forward.
In reality, consent is an ongoing conversation. People can change their minds. Someone who agreed yesterday may decide differently today. Someone who agrees at the beginning of an activity may decide to stop later.
Helping learners understand that they can change their minds and helping professionals consistently respect those changing decisions reinforces bodily autonomy and builds trust.
Teaching Consent Through Everyday Interactions
Some of the most effective consent education does not happen during formal lessons.
It happens throughout the day.
Asking before helping with a jacket.
Explaining before beginning personal care.
Checking before adjusting someone’s clothing.
Asking permission before offering physical assistance.
Waiting for an answer.
Respecting the answer.
These everyday interactions communicate something powerful:
Your choices matter.
When consent becomes part of daily routines, people experience respect rather than simply hear about it.
Making Consent Accessible
Consent education should never depend on someone’s ability to speak.
Plain language, visual supports, social stories, role-playing, videos, communication boards, sign language, and AAC devices all create meaningful ways for learners to understand and express consent.
Role-playing realistic situations gives people opportunities to practice before they encounter similar experiences in everyday life.
Likewise, someone who communicates “stop” using an AAC device is communicating every bit as clearly as someone who says the word aloud. Every form of communication deserves equal respect.
Preparing Professionals for Everyday Situations
Professionals often encounter situations that require thoughtful responses.
A participant changes their mind during an activity.
Someone expresses discomfort with physical assistance.
A client shares that another person crossed a boundary.
Two people receiving services are navigating a friendship or a dating relationship.
Preparing for these situations through discussion, practice, and realistic scenarios helps professionals respond calmly and confidently while supporting the person’s choices and safety.
Families and Supporters Matter Too
Families and support professionals have tremendous influence because they shape many of the everyday experiences in which consent is practiced.
Supported decision-making means helping someone understand their options—not making decisions for them.
When supporters consistently ask permission, explain what they are doing, respect personal boundaries, and honor both yes and no, they reinforce the very skills being taught during formal instruction.
Consent becomes part of everyday life rather than something discussed only during a lesson.
Building Confidence Through Practice
Reading articles and attending workshops can introduce important ideas. Developing confidence takes something more. Professionals benefit from opportunities to observe effective teaching, practice new skills, receive feedback, and work through realistic scenarios in a supportive learning environment. That combination helps move knowledge beyond theory and into everyday practice.
It is about helping people build the lifelong skills needed to make choices, communicate boundaries, respect others, and develop healthy relationships. When people consistently experience their choices being respected, they gain confidence in using their own voice.
For self-advocates, remember:
Your body. Your choices. Your voice.
You have the right to say yes.
You have the right to say no.
If you choose to say yes, it should always be because there are two yesses and both yesses are freely chosen.
How Elevatus Training Can Help
Teaching consent effectively requires more than information. It requires practical strategies, opportunities to practice, and confidence in responding to real-life situations.
Elevatus Training’s 3-Day Certificate Program prepares direct support professionals, educators, therapists, program leaders, and other professionals to teach healthy relationships, body autonomy, and consent using evidence-informed, trauma-informed, and cognitively accessible methods developed specifically for people with intellectual and developmental disabilities.
Participants leave with practical tools, adaptable teaching strategies, and the confidence to move beyond simply explaining concepts to helping people build lasting skills.
Whether you are looking to strengthen your organization’s approach to consent education or become a certified sexuality educator, we are here to help.
Katherine McLaughlin, M.Ed., AASECT Certified Sexuality Educator, is the Founder, CEO, and Lead Trainer for Elevatus Training. She has been a sexuality educator and trainer for over 30 years. As a national expert on sexuality and intellectual and developmental disabilities, she trains professionals and parents, as well as people with I/DD, to become sexual self-advocates and peer sexuality educators.
